a modern problem

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my LinkedIn profile photo is currently blank. a hollow avatar sashed with a desperate holler for employment fronts the messages i send to anyone willing to speak with me for prideless pandering disguised as "career advice." i prefer to speak over the phone, because i'd rather be fluent in business-casual banter than hastily slap some concealer over parts of me that are dark and sunken. the more time that passes, the more i come to be known as faceless, and maybe less human. it scares me to think that i'll suddenly lose all opportunity to even introduce myself to these people if they knew what i looked like.

i can't be faceless and jobless at the same time. but having both requires facing a horrible truth, one that i feel i'd only be immune to if i possessed an entirely different set of features in totality. it's the cost of being a woman, i think, to be prescribed a certain level of opportunity entirely irrelevant to your skillset. if i'm right about this, how horrible that such a practice takes place! and how terrible i couldn't be one of the lucky few with a cosmetic golden ticket.

and if i'm wrong, i've just made a complete idiot of myself and revealed to an audience something you'd never guess exists under the flesh-colored camouflage i paint and repaint every single day.

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