a penny for my thoughts

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luck works in mysterious ways.

i look for signs of luck and abundance and something happy coming my way all the time. it's frequency illusion at best, and desperation at worst. the search remains tethered to one specific outcome. one specific thing that i want to go my way.

it hasn't happened. i'm not sure it will happen soon. but maybe someday, if i'm lucky.

but that doesn't mean good things aren't yet to be found.

my dearest friend zach and i had a discussion about pennies the other day. i never was terribly superstitious in the past-- i don't walk under ladders, but never reroute for a crack in the sidewalk. but the day before everything changed, i saw 4 heads down pennies lying on the floor of the Brooklyn-Bridge/City Hall subway station. 4 means death in Chinese culture.

someone's loose change, a thread come undone in a pocket, clumsy wallet maneuvering-- it was these things that caused everything to shift. i know it. i've spent so many nights, trapped in a cold sweat, tossing and turning while i replay the moment i noticed them. i scream at my memory to look away. i can't help but wonder what would have happened if i looked to the left that night.

zach sent me a picture of a heads up penny he saw today.

and i made 3 sales on depop!

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