back, but not necessarily better

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 hello, blogspot world.

i am happy to report i am reverting BACK to you. substack gave me the heebie-jeebies. 

i took a hiatus for about a month, mainly because i had nothing to write about. it was nice, believe it or not. i felt caged to my thoughts. writing has always served as my outlet and my escape, but for the first time in a while, i wasn't running away from anything.

but good things can never last, and the stillness of my body seems to have vanished. 

i won't call this relapse, but maybe...regression.

there is plenty to be said, as long as i'm not too exhausted to say it.

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neglect

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i'm trying to be a little off-the-cuff here, and i'm not sure if i'll be able to succeed. i haven't been able to write anything for a while now, and i wonder if it's simply because i'll have to face truths the second i hear the keys start to click. i've been growing out my fingernails for a month. they make my maneuvers clunky and awkward and slow. my fingernails look so beautiful in their envy, but they stop me from pushing forward. i now live in fear that something will make them snap or snag or chip. i'll have to cut them off and wait for them to grow again. but i like them now, because they're long. and maybe they mean something more. they might be the only part of me that's grown besides my cheeks. i think i'm getting a little fat. perhaps i'm becoming more of a woman. i'm packing up a life i've lived and come home to for 22 years now, still unearthing things from decades prior. picking them up stings my throat as the dust co...
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